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I struggle. We all struggle. Let us all struggle together. ASD community. Writing from the heart. Riley_48@hotmail.co.uk

A chaotic play with words

Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash

The being is chased by the man who holds many visions. All his visions delight his decisions — his preferences are not for everyone. His brain lowers itself to our grounds and out fly chains that block our directions.

The chasees are blocked by chains — the brain is beaming with absolute amazement — they take out their chainsaws and try to cut their way through… they fail. “What is that beside you?”

They climb ropes of grease that stick to their eyes and mouths — they quickly rise and suddenly are surprised that it…


The more I age, the more societal pressures get to me

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“Stop thinking you’re doing it all wrong. Your path doesn’t look like anybody else’s because it can’t, it shouldn’t, and it won’t.” — Eleanor Brownn

We’re living in a world now, within the career sector, grades are becoming more important. It is supposedly vital to knuckle down while young, get the grades, and reap the rewards after. Therefore, you will not lament the time spent messing around in school while you should be focusing on your work.

I remember a teacher explaining something to me. …


A chaotic play with words

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To condemn society for smiling -- a judge slams the hammer -- what is birthed is a mouth that devours us; how can we all hide from such harm? How do we pursue asylum?

There is no such thing as a hole that is deep enough -- dig your way through rock -- mud doesn't exist here anymore -- watch your knuckles bleed. Feel your tears shed from your ears -- your eyes are scarred by the grim facades -- there is no home, just domes, that screen propaganda on their ceilings.

The stars we strive to reach will burn…


It is hard to listen when you have a demon blocking your ears

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“Sometimes, by trying to give advice or be helpful, the friends and family of someone with a mental health problem can do more harm than good.” — Insider

Inside the head of a person battling with depression is a person who is running low on energy and running low on focus.

I have had this issue for many years. Being 34, I have encountered depression multiple times where it has caused me to feel alone and isolated from everybody that I hold dear.

I have felt numb. Like a robot going with the motions.

I could be in a large…


I hope you can learn from what I have to say

Photo by author

“Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.”
Lucius Annaeus Seneca

There it is, above this text for all to see. Yes, I wrote a suicide note.

It happened last weekend. I was at home, alone, sitting in silence with my mind and body at war with one and other.

My mind telling me to do some grotesque things to myself, while my body, imagined the pain that would occur if I was to succeed in going through with it.

From slitting my wrists. Overdosing on whatever pills I found in the cupboard. Maybe doing both. Perhaps I…


His ageing appearance is scaring me

Photo by Ante Hamersmit on Unsplash

“Be sure to spend time with your parents while you can, because one day when you look up from your busy life, they won’t be there anymore.” — Anonymous

My dad is 63 this year. I know it isn’t old. It isn’t young, either. He still has many years ahead of him. Yet, it terrifies me. Time terrifies me. I look in the mirror, and I see the effects of time. I look at my mother. I look at my father. I look at my brothers, sisters, and niece. They are all ageing and it… terrifies me.

It. Is. Everywhere.


A chaotic play with words

Photo by Jene Stephaniuk on Unsplash

After all this time, I have succumbed to the depths of such manic worlds. For I wander around a limitless void of continuous terms that are meaningless, because they are nothing but shadows that influence our lives. Shadows that pursue our movements.

We drag our feet in quicksand and sweets -- we fatten our bodies whilst we sink in glooms -- despair awaiting our fallen bodies. We malfunction when our leaders tire. No words to grasp on to such aspirations, leading us to decapitations and thoughtless thoughts that clench discrimination.

We climb rocks that form socks that hold feet that…


A chaotic play with words

Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash

Our minds are stationed in their positions while the world is shaken-- the gritty skies deceive our minds into a false sense of security-- pictures are painted by the dust that flies.

It is us that choose to wander in such cold-icy nights that spark our breaths into life — we see the shapes they make in the atmosphere as we exhale our despair into our own ever-changing glares.

We stroll the brick, mortar and pestle-covered deserts that stick to our teeth -- they lead to our souls and cover our insides with moles, while molesting our minds into thinking about blue skies.

Come with me inside the human eye and see the world with pearly pearls and rose-tinted glasses, we cherish your presence with a large dose of presents. All we ask for is to give us your…


Author’s Note: I began writing this series during a big bout of depression. Time passed. It occurred to me that I may be on to something. To this day, I continue to write them.

I hope you enjoy the madness!

I know I do!

Photo by Dids from Pexels

Do our tormented minds seek peace in a world which is bleak and foggy like a wasted wonderland that has become a living hell for all? A blue-sky world caresses our eyes and minds with soft strokes — the voice behind the stroke says: “it’s okay.”

We continue to prevail in a world of deception and…


"I’m 5, plucking honeysuckles off of the backyard bush, squeezing the tiniest drops of what tastes like sweet nectar into my mouth. I pluck another one as there are plenty, hundreds more budding in the spring time.

I’m 6, singing with my sister, recording ourselves on an ancient silver cassette tape recorder, playing drumbeats on upside-down Tupperware containers. We giggle with pride listening back to our music on the cassette.

I’m 7, riding my bike for hours up and down the neighborhood roads, feeling the cool breeze against my face.

I’m 8, dancing in my favorite, faded pink costume dress…

Aiden Riley

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